To My Dearest Mass Effect 3,
The long 24 hours since I last called the northern California GameStop have seemed like an eternity. How I long to embrace you in my CD tray. How I long to caress your smooth paper inserts that have all the N7 Edition DLC codes on them.
Yet it is not to be. For I must wait another 24 to 48 hours before you are in my arms once more, here, at the southern California GameStop. The pain is excruciating.
I have long avoided the internet since your initial release, hoping against hope that douchebags would not spoil you as I already in some ways have. That is my own fault for lurking the ME3 boards at 5 AM. Yet know that I only did this to be closer to you.
If only I could glimpse your faceplate! If only I could sequester myself away from that electric bill I’ve been dodging and shoot Cerberus agents! I could have payed that thrice damned bill already, but no. I wanted you more. I have issues prioritizing. It’s a character defect and I’m working on it.
Where have you been all that time? Will I still get my pre-order gun? Have you shared your pre-order gun with another? My heart aches at the thought.
I have been hurt before, Mass Effect 3. Like that time your Mission Command app gave me a female avatar shirt instead of a male one. I can’t download the shirt, Mass Effect 3! It won’t let me! You have teased me enough! I am slain by your wiles.
Come back to me, Mass Effect 3. I’m already days behind.
P.S. - And don’t have any scratches on you or I’ll be hella pissed.