“Enough with the metaphors… That’s an order.”

In 2009, Paramount handed the reigns to one of its most successful franchises, Star Trek, to their in-house wunderkind, J.J. Abrams. The film that Abrams delivered was a fun throwback to the Trek of old, with plenty of action thrown in to hold the attention of viewers not used to the more leisurely pace of Gene Roddenberry’s creation. The film was a surprise hit that summer, and expectations could not be higher for the follow-up, Star Trek Into Darkness.

So could the film live up to those expectations? Read on to find out…

“I wish I had done everything on earth with you.”

The quintessential high school English teacher’s go-to novel for nearly the last century, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby has received no fewer than five film adaptations and an opera. So why on earth did we need another film version of this masterwork? The honest answer is, we didn’t, but it’s more likely that none of the previous adaptations have been wholly successful in bringing the novel to life.

So how did director Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge) & executive producer Jay-Z fare on their version of Gatsby? Read on to find out…

Director: Shane Black
Writer: Shane Black (screenplay), Drew Pearce (screenplay), Stan Lee (comic book), Jack Kirby (comic book), Don Heck (comic book), Larry Lieber (comic book)
Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltorw, Don Cheadle, Sir Ben Kingsley, Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, William Sadler, Paul Bettany, James Badge Dale, Jon Favreau, Stephanie Szostak

Hit the break for a special audio review of Iron Man 3!

“You can call me a hobo, ‘cause I’ll do work. You can call me homeless, ‘cause right now that’s true. But if you call me a bum one more time, I’m gonna teach you a lesson your daddy didn’t.”

Writer/director Jeff Nichols created one of the more interesting films of the last few years with 2011’s Take Shelter. As a matter of fact, now that David Gordon Green has moved on to almost exclusively direct stoner comedies these days, Nichols has become the premiere Southern gothic filmmaker. His latest film Mud, in addition to being his best film yet, continues the year long winning streak of its star Matthew McConaughey, that started with last year’s Bernie.

So why and how is it his best film yet? Read on to find out…

Director: Robert Redford
Stars: Lem Dobbs (screenplay), Neil Gordon (Novel)
Cast: Robert Redford, Shia Labeouf, Stanley Tucci, Anna Kendrick, Susan Sarandon, Brendan Gleeson, NIck Nolte, Terrence Howard, Julie Christie, Chris Cooper, Richard Jenkings, Brit Marling, Sam Elliott, Stephen Root, Jackie Evancho

A journalist looking into the background of a former Weather Underground Activist — who surrendered herself to authorities — discovers the identity of one of her cohorts, forcing him to go on the run.

Director: Michael Bay
Writers: Christopher Markus (screenplay), Stephen McFeely (screenplay), Pete Collins (magazine articles the story is based off)
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Rebel Wilson, Ken Jeong, Michael Rispoli, Par Baly

Based on the true events surrounding Florida’s Sun Gym Gang in the mid-90s, who kidnapped, extorted, tortured and murdered wealthy victims for their money.

“Francis? I mean, who’s named Francis? A talking mule?”

I became aware of Rob Zombie, as I think most people of my generation did, when his band White Zombie’s video for “Thunder Kiss 65” appeared on Beavis & Butthead. Like most other people, I wrote him off as a novelty musician, but then his career took a strange turn when he directed House of 1000 Corpses in 2003. While I didn’t love that film, I recognized that he was very savvy behind the camera, and clearly knew what he was doing as a director. His follow-up film, The Devil’s Rejects, was one of my favorite movies of the decade, combining a love for the gritty exploitation films of the 70s with an uncanny ability to combine music and images.

Zombie took a turn into commercial territory with his Halloween films, which I wasn’t crazy about, but is now back on firmer ground with his latest film, The Lords of Salem. The film is an original story by Zombie, and the film’s trailers seemed to indicate he was headed into new territory. So did he succeed? Read on to find out…

Director: Joseph Kosinki
Writer: Joseph Kosinki (screenplay & comic), Karl Gajdusek (screenplay), Michael Arndt (screenplay), Arvid Nelson (comic)
Cast: Tom Cruise, Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko, Andrea Riseborough, Melissa Leo

Jack Harper is one of two human survivors tasked with overseeing the extraction of natural resources on a devastated Earth. When he discovers another human survivor on the planet, he begins to question his mission and all that he knows.

Scott Stewart’s Dark Skies is a serious, sinister tale of an every-day family and their encounters with an inquisitive, malicious and terrifying force. Featuring Keri Russell and Josh Hamilton as Lacy and Daniel Barrett, respectively, they are a family struggling to make ends meet and support their family unit. The Barretts have two sons, Jesse (Dakota Goyo) and Sam (Kadan Rockett). When the youngest of the family, Sam, starts to tell tales of the Sandman coming to see him during the night, the family play it off as the over-active imagination that’s usually associated with those of such a young age. In typical fashion, things then begin to take a turn firmly for the worst.

More after the break.

“To be yourself you have to constantly remember yourself… it’s a full-time job.”

For years Danny Boyle toiled away as an underrated director of some pretty great genre pictures like Shallow Grave, Trainspotting and 28 Days Later. Then a funny thing happened in 2008. A little film that he made called Slumdog Millionaire, that had been intended to go direct to DVD, became a worldwide sensation. For fans of his earlier work, it seemed to validate the faith we had in him as a director, yet it also left us feeling a bit hollow since he was getting tons of recognition for what is arguably his weakest film.

After another awards grab with 2010’s 127 Hours, Boyle has returned to his gritty roots with his latest film Trance.

“Life’s a dream. In a dream you can’t make mistakes.”

Terrence Malick is one of the only truly enigmatic directors left in cinema. In 1978, after releasing only his second feature film Days of Heaven, he took a twenty years hiatus before returning with 1998’s The Thin Red Line. The myth that built up around him in those twenty years made him seem less like a real person and more of a legend. In the fifteen years since The Thin Red Line, he’s released three more films, including my favorite film of 2011, The Tree of Life. Now just two years later, he’s released To the Wonder, a film that’s been billed as “his most accessible film yet.”

So how accessible is it? Read on to find out…

Director: Brian Helgeland
Writer: Brian Helgeland (screenplay)
Cast: Chadwick Boseman, Harrison Ford, Alan Tudyk, Nicole Beharie, Andrew Holland, Christopher Melonie, Lucas Black, T.R. Knight

A biopic chronicling Jackie Robinson’s journey to the majors with the Brooklyn Dodgers, and becoming Major League Baseball’s first African-American player.

“If you ride like lightning you’re gonna crash like thunder.”

Ryan Gosling has made a career out of zigging when everyone else zags. After his star making turn in The Notebook, everyone more or less thought he would go the safe route and build a career as a leading man in the traditional sense, but he has carefully built his career doing anything but what’s traditional. One of his best performances came in 2010’s Blue Valentine for director Derek Cianfrance, so hopes and expectations are high for their latest collaboration, The Place Beyond the Pines.

“I can smell your filthy soul.”

Let me get this out of the way right off the bat: There are some sacred cows for me in the world of cinema; films that I consider to be holy and above being remade. Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead is not one of those films. I have no great attachment to the original film, and I was not up in arms over the proposed remake when it was announced. I feel the need to qualify this fact because I am about to tear this remake to shreds, and I don’t want anyone reading this to think that I have some sort of personal animus towards the film based on some affinity for the original.

Director: Harmony Korine
Writer: Harmony Korine
Cast: James Franco, Vanessa Hudgens, Selena Gomez, Ashley Benson, Rachel Korine, Gucci Mane

Four college girls looking for a change of scenery in Spring Break rob a local diner to fund their trip only to wind up in jail and bailed out by a drug and arms dealer looking to get them to do his dirty work.